Mwahahaha.
I have news. Not new news, but news all the same.
I lost 9 kilos!
*sticks out tongue to all nay-sayers*
Over a course of two months, i lost 9 kgs. By gym (meaning cardio) and by watching my diet.
Before you roll your eyes and think "Ah, this one just did one of those massive super-don't-eat-and-be-thin! diets. No wonder..." well guess what? I didn't. It's a long, long story though.
All this started nearly two years ago, when I was seperated from my closest friends. Let me note that I can get very emo about my friends. When I decide you're a Friend (not one of those 'Hi-bye acquaintances' people) then I truly consider you one. Run to your need, scream at you, laugh with and at you, listen to you, the whole mushy lot. Hence when the whole gang I was close to left, I became depressed. And ate. A Lot. Before India (that's where i began my medical theory work) I was at my peak; 60 kgs, walking an hour everyday and lifting 30 kgs thrice a week. In India, I stopped working out, ate lots, and only hit the books and moped a lot. After India, I was 84 kgs.
*cringe*
Then; from abstaining from snacks to trying not to eat much (I ended up sleeping too much instead) I tried every other trick in the book once I was settled in Melaka, my new campus (where my clinical training is). Even tried a slimming program. Trust me. None of it worked for long. I was pretty much in the dumps when it came to my body size, with all the mood swings, obligatory inability to move and hormonal issues (was growing hair at freaky areas, i tell you. My dad pointed it out to me...). My mother got to the point where everytime she saw me she would go "Aiyo, I look at you and I feel so sick. You look so ugly. Why don't you Do something about it? So ugly. What will people think when they see you?"
Thanks, Ma. Really. Drive me into depression, why don't you?
Along with all that negetivity was a issue that had been going on for years- my knees.
Back in the past, I'd injured my left knee playing Captain's Ball on an uneven field... when I was 11. From then on i'd torn and strained my ligaments on both knees two or three times. From the time of my original injury I was unable to run without causing myself injury- that further caused me to shrink from exercise. I can only walk... any more than a fast walk and within two days, I'd be wincing at every step. I'd feel that a 'something' was moving in my knee joint, and that would catch when I was about to step on my left foot and I'd be unable to stand on that foot straight- a shooting pain would hit my knee and I'd fall over in pain- thrice it happened in India when I began standing long hours in the hospital and walking up and down lots of stairs... hence my reduction in exercise, thinking I was straining my legs too much. Turns out that my first injury gave me a fracture as well as torn ligaments... But that's another story.
Anyways, i was a solid 84 kgs (for my BMI, that meant I was OBESE), I had low stamina, was unable to strain my knees in any way (thus cutting off a major amount of exercise possibilities) and with the negative comments and pitiful looks, I was on the verge of giving up and just dealing with being fat for the rest of my life. Meaning hiding myself and not being out in public where I could be Seen... the rare sighting of the walking Brown Blubber Walrus.
T'was my dad who pulled me off that edge, along with all the medical training i've had so far. Being fat, being obese- it's no joke. I would consider it as one of the worst ways to die, honest. With all the diseases (diabetes, hypertension, cardiac problems, strokes, metabolic syndrome, polycyctic ovary syndrome, etc.) and pain and torture and mental anguish... ugh. I'd rather commit suicide. *shudder* Anyways, papa decided to pep-talk me and reminded me of all that I had studied. He also gave me something else, but lets not get into that. It was then that I decided to give this whole thing one more shot- My way. No more stupid diets and slimming pills and whatnot rubbish. I was going to do this the old-fashioned way- Exercise and diet.
While I could still walk, you must understand. Walking for two hours only burns off as much as running for half an hour. And I had no time to spend two hours at the gym , trailing my fat ass on a treadmill while trim, fit girls surround me, running as fast as they can... that was pure torture, especally when you're all sensitive about how you look and how your blubber quivers on the treadmill as you move. At that time, I had no idea as to how much my old weight-training had helped me keep off pounds (before I stupidly stopped). So I stuck my middle finger at those skinny hantus (ghosts in Malay... never mind me) and woke at 5 a.m. to go to gym before my hospital classes (an ungodly hour when those slim girls would Not be there- hah, more discipline than You!). Gym opens at 5.45 a.m. but yours truly would walk in the car park to warm up before hopping to the gym and walking on the treadmill as fast as I could for an hour. I did try to do it everyday, but the lask of sleep was affecting my performance... So I did it every alternate day or so. I competed with myself, trying my best to obsess over the li'l caloriemeter thing and speed and all that; I challenged myself to burn off more and more calories by increasing the speed of my walk. It was the only cardio I could do other than the cycling machine.
And before you talk of swimming, the college pool opens at 6 a.m. (when it was Too Cold to swim) and closes at 7-8p.m., when there was still light. And they have rules against wearing t-shirts and shorts to swim. There was No Way I was going to go out in public in a swim suit with all my fats quivering about my frame. No Sir, I'll stick to the walking and the slow, slow loss. Even if it was the most discouraging thing on the planet. I cheered myself up with little increments in speed and got very, very upset when my legs began having pains ( apparently I was giving myself stress fractures on my tibias... go figure.) but most importantly, i kept at it.
Other than that, I altered my diet significantly. No more whites, No more rice. Brown bread, brown pasta... unfortunately, I couldn't find brown/unrefined noodles and stuck to instant noodles, but eh... it happens. I cut down on the amount of carbohydrates I was eating, and upped my protein intake- not fatty steaks and whatnot but fish (tuna, sardines, mackerel) and skinned chicken- no processed meats (ham, sausage, etc). I ate vegetables, more fruit, and a lot of wholemeal cereal, muesli and oats. I ATE BREAKFAST... a bun and coffee; and I ate dinner before 7 p.m. Lots of water- lots and lots and lots. No oil, no additional salt in my cooking, no extra sugar (I cooked most of my meals). No fried stuff, no super-fattening things (I only allowed myself cocoa and chocolate- no more cake, biscuits, cookies sweets, etc).
Sounds like a load, eh? Trust me, it's not. Cutting the white stuff and the rice actually helped me sort myself out and functional more effectively throughout the day, surprisingly. Apparently whites give you sugar highs that lead to sugar lows later- hence the post-meal food coma and the need for sweet things and all that jazz. Switching to brown and stopping my rice intake was the most intelligent thing I did for the whole diet. Of course, there were the occasional misses and events (hey, you can't not eat a slice of Birthday Cake! Especially if it's Yours!) but they were few and rare in between.
I did one other thing, though. I refused to look at a weighing scale. Refused. I walked, did sit-ups, and ate off my long-term food plan but didn't measure any of it because i hate weighing scales. But I didn't need to. I could feel myself getting better, healthier. I wasn't so out of breath. I didn't ache as much, I didn't feel heavy and overloaded, I didn't feel so lazy or tired. My knees did give me trouble, but i'd simply slow the speed and give them a bit of rest before heading forth again. and I STUCK TO IT FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS.
I so happened to stand on a weighing scale out of sheer madness (It was 4ish a.m. and we had just returned from clubbing in the wee hours- I was high from lack of sleep and that Gawdaful stink of smoke...) and I blinked at the scale. I actually got off, checked for errors and got on again. Then I blinked, went "Oh." and walked back downstairs very carefully (my knees were Killing me) before sleeping on the sofa with Ka and Ki. It was the next day in lecture class when it hit me and I was On Top OF The World!! 75kgs!
84kg -> 75kg = Happy Happy Happy Sunz! It Worked!!! Two months! 9 kg! Wooo!!!
Am on a semi-break now... meaning I'm still going to gym and I'm still watching my diet, but I'm a little less strict. My knee finally got checked out (read the other post) and I'm once again taking the bus across states to learn in different hospitals so yeah... I'm kinda unsettled. Not to mention a guy friend of mine who's been on a massive long-term body-building mode managed to convince me to start weight-training again. I want to be as strong as I once was- damnit, in first year I freaked the guys out with how much stronger I was from them, even though most of them were bigger and taller than me! Now M1 (that body-building buddy of mine) can lift me! hell, he's almost able to lift two mes! *glares at challenge* Neva!!! I Will Get Stronger!!! Grrr...
My new long-term project is to start my weight-training again. I found an unbelieveably helpful site: Stumptuous.com [http://www.stumptuous.com/cms/index.php by this really awesome lady named Mistress Krista. (eh... *shrug* no, I don't think she's into BDSM... you gutter-minded lot!). Anyway, her site convinced me that yep, I can get back to weights and Yesh, i can be as strong as the boys without looking like a She-Hulk (I've no idea how I got convinced of that one... I never looked like a She-Hulk when I was doing weights before... in fact, a couple of them boys liked eyeing my sleeveless arms... maybe a mental subversion cause I got fat later? Hmm.)
Damn, her site is funny at times. And unbelievably helpful, trust me. If you're a pitiful moron like meh and Need Help, go take a peek at it- promise she doesn't bite. Seriously, GO. It's for the fat, the obese, those who have 'tried everything', for everyone. The photos, information, exercise knowledge and nutrition advice is really helpful. Am currently relying on her site to put together a weights routine, to alternate with my cardio routine so I don't overdo (OD) it and kill my knees even Before surgery.
Of course, I know there'll be times of "Damnit, I want to eat that chocolate cake so I will! One slice!" but I know how to keep myself in routine. Just pile on the guilt, remember how strong and fit I once was, how I turned into The Blubbermat and how I look now, midway betwen the two. There's not a more effective way of sticking to it. No matter how many times I get lost, I'm hangin' onto this thick and thin. Two months, two years. What's the difference? The current ultimate goal: 60kg bodyweigth and able to lift more than the previous 30 kgs. Considering I'm right now whimpering at sets with only 2.5 kg weights, I've got a Long way to go... but onward March!
Will note progress here. Just so I don't slack off. :)
